The king wants his coffee!
by wolfangel7777
Summary: This story has cussing and gore so BEWARE! Rated teen for the words and gore T. King Gamzee sits in his throne room waiting for his coffee...


King Gamzee:WOULD SOME MOTHERFUCKER AROUND HERE GET ME SOME FUCKING COFFEE!?

*Gamzee is siting in his throne waiting for a servant to get him coffee*

Loyal Servant: Here King Gamzee...you coffee

*Servant hands Gamzee a cup of coffee* (Servant has speech problems:))

King Gamzee:*sips coffee contently then spits it out in disgust* WHATTHEFUCKISTHISDOGSHIT!? *Gamzee throws cup of coffee in the servants face breaking the cup and possibly the servants nose* I SAID COFFEE NOT DOG SHIT YOU FUCKING FREAK OF NATURE!IF THAT HAD ANY FORM OF SHIT IN IT I WILL HAVE YOU SLICED,MINCED,AND FED TO MY HELLHOUNDS! NOW GO GET ME ANOTHER CUP OF SOME FUCKING COFFEE YOU BITCH!

Loyal Servant: Yes King Gamzee...coffee, come here right away...

*Servant leaves room to get another cup of coffee for Gamzee to drink and leaves a bloody trail leading to the kitchen*

King Gamzee:*mutters* FUCKING MORON,WHY DID I HIRE SUCH A DUMBASS FOR A SERVANT?

Queen Karkat:Gaaaamzeeeee oooh where are you? Come out come out wherever you are~

King Gamzee: I'M NOT HIDING KARKAT! NOW GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!

Queen Karkat:MMMkay...

King Gamzee:WHEREISMYMOTHERFUCKINGCOFFEE ?

Queen Karkat: I dunno where your coffee is! Stop asking me questions that I can't answer!

*Karkat covers face with hands and starts crying*

Loyal Servant: Here you coffee King Gamzee...

*Servant brings cup of coffee to Gamzee*

King Gamzee:*sips coffee then turns head and vomits* WHATDIDITELLYOUABOUTTHEMOTHE RFUCKINGCOFFEE!?

*green drool is hanging out of Gamzee's mouth from getting sick from the coffee*

Queen Karkat:STOP YELLING AT ME!

*Karkat cries more*

Loyal Servant: I no remember King Gamzee...

King Gamzee:I SAID THAT IF IT,TASTED LIKE DOGSHIT OR ANY OTHER MOTHERFUCKING SHIT I WOULD HAVE YOU SLICED,MINCED,AND FED TO MY HELLHOUNDS!

Queen Karkat:*Karkat stops crying and freezes in fear of Gamzee killing him*

Loyal Servant:ah...buh,King Gamzee...

*Servant holds finger up to try and say something*

King Gamzee: *pulls out Spain's battle axe* DIEYOUMOTHERFUCKER!DIEANDOBEYMYLAWSOFDEATH!

*Gamzee swings the battle axe and slices the Servant in half cracking his skull* GODDAMMEDBITCH...

Queen Karkat: Hey Gamzee what you think of this outfit?

*Karkat comes in wearing a maid outfit,and sees the dead Servant* OH MY GOD! HEYAREYOUOK? WAKE-UP BUDDY!*Karkat shakes the dead Servant screaming in his face,Looks at Gamzee* why won't he wake-up Gamzee?

King Gamzee: because he's dead Karkat...

Queen Karkat: d-d-d-dead? *Karkat gazes at Gamzee horror stricken and then notices that Gamzee is holding a bloodied battle axe* How did you get Spain's battle axe Gamzee?

King Gamzee: I uh..I-I I found it behind my throne...

Queen Karkat: GAMZEE YOU MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW YOU TOO WELL AND YOU SUCK AT LIEING. TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU FUCKASS!

King Gamzee: um...uh...i-uh...i-i-um...

Spain:*Spain throws the throne room's doors wide open and glares at Gamzee*GIVE ME BACK MY BATTLE AXE YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ROMANO FROM THOSE WHORES WITHOUT MY BATTLE AXE!?

*Spain storms into the throne room with a gun and sword in each hand* GIVE ME BACK MY BATTLE AXE OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!

King Gamzee: AND IF I REFUSE TO GIVE UP THIS WEAPON OF POWER?

Queen Karkat:ITS NOT MAGICAL!

Spain:THEN YOU WILL DIE!

King Gamzee:HA! I AM THE RULER OF DEATH!

Queen Karkat:NO YOU'RE NOT GAMZEE I AM,SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Spain:HOW SO?

King Gamzee:I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD :)

Queen Karkat:LIAR!

Spain: THAT DON'T MAKE YOU THE RULER OF DEATH!

King Gamzee:YES IT DOES,NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Queen Karkat: This has to stop...

*Sakora appears in a shower of sparkles and glimmers*

Sakora: Hey guys what's up?

Queen Karkat: Now's not the best time Sakora!

*Karkat sends Sakora to La La Land in a shimmer of pink sparkles*

Sakora: but-KARKAT!

Spain:THAT'S IT!DIE!

*Spain fires the guns and runs at Gamzee to try and get Gamzee into sword-swinging range*

King Gamzee:I AM MAGICAL YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!

*Gamzee disappears and reappears behind Spain*

Queen Karkat:STOPFIGHTINGBOTHOFYOUBITCHES !

*Karkat gets in-between Gamzee and Spain holding a double-edged spear*

Spain:DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A BITCH!

King Gamzee:I DON'T ANSWER TO YOU KARKAT!

Queen Karkat:YES YOU DO, NOW FUCKING SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB BOTH OF YOU!

Romano:Spa-*enters throne room through doors that Spain entered through and sees Spain,Karkat and Gamzee glaring at him* -innn...oh,never mind...*Romano turns and starts to leave*

Spain:Where you going Romano? *asks sweetly*

King Gamzee: Oooh so now that he's here your all sugar no spice?

Queen Karkat: WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK?

*Karkat punches Gamzee in the face*

Romano:Why do you care you fucking pervert?

Spain:Because I can~

King Gamzee: OH PLEASE! JUST STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT-

Queen Karkat: GAMZEESHUTTHEMOTHERFUCKINGUP ORSOHELPMEGODIWILLKILLYOU!

Spain:Only for you Romano~~

King Gamzee: geez Karkat no reason to get your ass in a fix...

Queen Karkat:STUFUFFADFGNKDBJV KASDTG HBUFIKJDIYUNTJRSEOIGFQ4U5W9R IA8SFHWEIUQGT

Romano:Man slut...

King Gamzee:wut...was that?(meaning what Karkat said)

Queen Karkat: YJDBNK JSKDFYBGDJNVFHDKZSF JDNHDKVBUSFDRJGBFUDIO SHAEUFRIDOSFH DELJHUODERKJ IHVGBHVFDVHNFHB DC HFVTR HUGEHBRGU

Spain:What was that?

King Gamzee: He called you a man slut!

Queen Karkat: GAMZEE...

(Karkat is at boiling rage at this time)

King Gamzee:What? You heard him!

Queen Karkat:SHUTTHEFUCKUP...

*Karkat puts the spear point on Gamzee's nose*

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:WHATTHEFUCK?

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:THEFUCKISWRONGWITHYOUGAMZEE?

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:THEFU-

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:GAM-

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:F-

King Gamzee: HONK

Queen Karkat:*Karkat spazzes*

King Gamzee:HOOOOONNNNKK...

(THE FUCK? O_O )

Spain:Looooviiiii~~

Romano/Lovi:GETTHEFUCKAWAYYOUPERVERT!

King Gamzee:IM NOT LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ANYMORE,COME HERE KARKAT!

*Gamzee picks Karkat up and throws him over his shoulder*

Karkat:WHATTHEFUCKGAMZEE?PUT. ME. DOWN!

*Karkat struggles in Gamzee's grip* ISAIDPUTMEDOWNYOUMOTHERFUCKE R!


End file.
